Look here is the deal. I have not posted shit in forever. No excuse, no blah blah. Just a girlfriend and a smile.
Last year I posted every movement (bowl included) at the event that is Comic Con. This year, I was way too busy being the business geek that I am to even post. So, instead of posting some sort of recap telling my sorry tales of who I saw and what I consumed, I thought I would go big picture and talk about the only thing I truely know…
Drinking. Why do we drink? It is a silly thing that has no long term benefits and has serious repercussions. In a perfect world, not only would there be no need to get soused to the point of peeing oneself, there would be no desire.
But the world sucks and most the time “life” is a swift kick to the testiesapiaicles. Booze is the man cup that protects us from taking one on the inside coner below the belt. The best looking most success nerd, is still a nerd (I KNOW, FUNNIEST POST EVER RIGHT?)
So back to the important thing, drunkiness. If life sucks so bad, what is one to do? Moments of Happiness. That is all we can go after. If I end up a miserable old drunk prick like my boy Charles B, as long as I get my moments. All the pain and anguish can suck my balls for my moments.
A smoke with a friend.
Ordering another round.
A story you have heard before.
A drunk friend saying it is good to see you when he saw you yesterday.
Shutting the door and biting the pillow.
Opening a book right after closing another.
Laughing at retards.
A machete.
The smell of a new girl.
An episode of RESCUE ME.
MY MOMENTS
Oh yeah, and booze.
You can kick me in the nuts, and it will hurt like a mother, but take my moments from me and I will kill you. Things change, they fall apart, they move to NYC and take a job at the CBS morning show.
But they can not take my moments. And those tiny moments are all we got.
This is Lazlo saying, she is leaving on a jet plane, don’t care when she’ll be back again. Give me Daniels, or give me death.
Sent via BlackBerry from Cingular Wireless

Will have PreView Reviews up later, (and what about a Humpday Hottie Huh?) (Alliterate much?) But first things fucking last. FOX needs to suck it. That 70s Show Final Goodbye was more uncomfortable than my last dentist visit and that was just a couple days ago and I can still feel the pain.

Secondly, did anyone see that ridiculously horrible XMEN 3 Promo? That looks like the biggest steaming pile of shit to come along since I took a big steaming pile of shit this morning. You can feel Ratner on every shot. Silly two shots, bad edits with dialogue and just overall poorly chosen camera angles. I can’t wait til the geeks turn on this film. I’m going to go on record now saying that film will blow. It will be empty, vapid, probably boring and most definitely forgettable. I just feel bad for the fans because I know how much this series means to all of you. How can you deal with having high expectations and low expectations all at once. “Maybe he won’t fuck it up THAT bad.” Let’s just hope the Benioff/Wolverine spin-off still happens.
Oh.. props to NBC for stellar episodes of Earl and Office last night. Out. Stand. Ing.

Why oh why do German’s dress they way they do? I was at Disneyland recently and these two 15-year-old kids were wearing cut off sleeve type t-shirt’s (one of them yellow, the other bright red), 12-eyed black Doc Martin’s, white crew sox and denim FUCKING CAPRI PANTS! Who does this? Do German public schools actually teach them how to look like idiots? I have family in Germany, so I’ve got plenty of love for the country, but who’s joke got overplayed!? Let’s not forget about their famous mo-hawk / faux-hawk hair style, which is just too damn easy for us to rip on. Is Bruno from Da Ali G show their idol and muse for fashion? I must have stared at these guys for 10 minutes, feeling like I was stuck in an alter-universe of some kind. While part of me felt the urge to walk up and spit on them, the other part of me wanted to run for the hills. Ultimately, I remained lethargic like our good friend the deer – glossy eyed and frozen in time waiting to be hit by a large white pick-up truck driven by a guy named Jessup. Perhaps they should stop watching BAYWATCH reruns and tune in to THE OC, then again, who would we point and laugh at if we didn’t have Germany, Canada? For once, let’s cut Canada some slack, they’re the butt of enough of our jokes. I here by declare a motion to start the “GDFS Foundation (German’s Dress For Shit) and make David Hasselhoff our fearless leader.
Ishta von uten housen zi crappin de Froielines!
Peace out.
Captain Kitchen