HOT TUB TIME MACHINE: This movie has everything I look for in a movie, and life for that matter, hot tubs and time machines. If I had a hot tub that transported me back to 1986 I would totally play with my G.I. Joes until way after midnight and not go to school because I wanted to play my brand new Nintendo Entertainment System until my tiny fingers became bloody and misshapen from all the wondrous finger mashing. Well, what would you do?? I’d only be 9 years old and I had yet to learn how to train my dragon, (see below).

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: I don’t know about you, but I learned how to train my dragon when I was 12 years old in between sessions of spanking the monkey, choking the bishop and as Kevin Spacey said so eloquently in AMERICAN BEAUTY, “Saying hello to my monster.” In what I can only assume is another in the tired series of stories featuring the love story of a boy and his dragon, (see AVATAR, THE NEVERENDING STORY, ANY MOVIE FEATURING SARAH JESSICA PARKER), this looks to be another reason to find your buddy with the pot card, eat some brownies and sit back motionless for 2 hours with funny looking glasses on saying “whoah” multiple times to yourself and others. Or you can see the movie.