If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
-P.J. O’Rourke

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
~Phyllis Diller

Never cry over spilt milk. It could’ve been whiskey.
-”Pappy” Maverick, in Maverick

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.
~Raymond Chandler

If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.
~Author Unknown

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
-Oscar Levant (1906 – 1972)

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.
-Homer (800 BC – 700 BC), The Odyssey

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
–Martin Mull

It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine.
-Heraclitus (540 BC – 480 BC), On the Universe

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-Henny Youngman (1906 – 1998)