Can’t just do one for this guy…

• Everybody has to believe in something… I believe I’ll have another drink.

• Once … in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.

• I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

• I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

• More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

• The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

• Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snake bite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.

–W.C. Fields