- “Ladies and Gentleman, last year’s winner of The Kentucky Derby, Funny Cide!”
- “Hilary, what are your thoughts on the new Supreme Court nominee, John Roberts Jr.?
- “I knew having Lazlo as my personal trainer was a bad call.”
- Somewhere a Lohan is smiling… because she just did a pound of coke.
- Another satisfied customer leaves the Busey Orthodontic Institute.
- “She went to bed a mild mannered teen pop princess and woke up a tired old hag. Coming this award season from Disney, Hilary Duff in HOLY SHIT I AM TURNING INTO HEATHER LOCKLEAR”
- This is why Lou turns girls out to pasture when they turn 18.. I’m sorry, but it’s all downhill ladies.
- From Jason: “Bitch spelled my name wrong ese…hey Hillary, what makes you think I won’t cut you?”
Archive for Pictures
Caption This, You Sorry Drunks!
A Couple Pics…
Caption This, You Sorry Drunks!
While partying with some friends who claim to be “readers” of the site this weekend, they seemed to be confounded with all the “words” and “sentences” we use and complained that what our dear site was missing was more pictures because they have “jobs” and don’t have time to “read.” So, in a blatant attempt to pander to the illiterate drunks that is our constituency, (I kid, I kid), I give you Caption This, You Sorry Drunks!
- 2 more reasons to see The Island.
- Milk. It does a titty good.
- Come on satin, do your thing.
- Scarlett, who are you wear…OH MY GOD LOOK AT THOSE MOUNTAINOUS FLESH PILLOWS!
- I’ve been staring at this picture for 10 minutes and I just realized she’s signing autographs.
Now you try..
- where’s a wardrobe malfunction when u really need one!? cue jt!!!
Posted by: SSLUGGO
Monday’s Hangover: A Couple Pics
So, considering it’s going to be at least five hours until I can see straight and attempt a coherent post, I’ll just throw you a couple random drunk pictures I found in my camera. More later…
-Lou
Tuesday’s Hangover: Ab Fab(rication)
Hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July weekend. All of us over at SorryIGotDrunk will surely be feeling the effects of this weekend for days, if not years to come. So, as I wait for the damn computer screen to stop shaking in front of me, I give you this… A picture of Mariah Carey from last night’s Fireworks in New York. In lieu of actually working out, Mimi decided to paint on some very Batsuit-looking fake abs. Now, last night I thought maybe I had just had too much Scotch or Bohemia or cocaine or potato salad or something, but alas, here they are. The picture still doesn’t do it justice as you just have to see the artificial abs moving around as she lip synced whatever shit song it was, but really how can you not love this girl? Screw you, Bally’s. Hello, Sherwin Williams.
-Later, Lou
Wednesday Night At The Improv: The Morning After
AIM IM with LAZLO: 9:52 AM
LOU: hey champ… how u doin today?
LAZLO: great how about you
LOU: contemplating quitting just so i can nap
LAZLO: nice
LOU: cleand up the yard
LAZLO: thanks
LOU: movd couch
LOU: again apparently
LAZLO: good work
LOU: paced for 20 minutes about how i could call in sick
LOU: threw up while brushing teeth
LOU: GTs
LOU: i wanna go home
LOU: my eyes are closed as i type this
LAZLO: nice
So, you wake up and Laz is asking for your keys to jump his car and he’s telling you to clean up the yard.. Hmm, the yard?.. You get up out of bed and find the couch is in the hallway.. Hmm, that’s strange. Let’s see.. I remember watching Wildboyz after we got home from the club and I kept hitting the 3 second back button on the Tivo because Pontius hit his head on a door and it was fucking hilarious. It’s at this point that things become a bit blurry. And by blurry, I mean non-existent. Shit, I could’ve fucked a camel in the kitchen as far as I’m concerned. Now, as I write this, I’m aware of the fact that I could ask Laz what went down, but it’s just more fun to deal with the futile attempt to remember the details on my own.
Monday’s Hangover: Lou’s UrinalCam Experience
Morning, Kids (1:15pm)… Still getting used to the fact that it’s Monday already. Laz has been on walkabout up in wine country all weekend getting blitzed on Pinot and playing golf, and is on his way to Vegas as I write this, at work. Bastard. While going through my camera phone over the weekend and clearing out some old pics, I noticed an interesting trend. Apparently, I like to take drunken pictures of the bathrooms at bars. No idea why, but some interesting pictures, nonetheless. So with no further ado, I give you Lou’s UrinalCam 2005™.
Another place in LA with the Co-Ed bathrooms. On the outside of these doors, they display the “Señoritas” prominently on the top with the “y Señors” small at the bottom. The first time I went here, I kept walking past the doors getting more and more frustrated that I couldn’t find the damn Men’s room. I know, I’m a drunk idiot, but I’m just sayin’.
Top Ten Things To Do If You Want To Get Fired
So, my job really sucks today and I would like to quit, but for some reason I think it would be more fun to make them fire me. And it is with this mindset that I bring you this week’s list…
10. COME TO WORK WITHOUT SHOWERING – Really want to piss of those fuckers that make your mind melt with their stupidity. Work up a stench so bad that no one will be able to get near you. For a little extra kick, toss some rotting fish guts down your pants. As Yoda would say ”Laid, you will not get… But severance package, have you will.”
9. START PREACHING SCIENTOLOGY – Alright I’ll admit it, this one made the list solely because I hate Tom Cruise. I have avoided talking about it so far because it seems like everyone is doing it and even though I am Irish, I do not like beating people that are down. He is a pig fucker, plain and simple. It is kind of just amazing that we all have not noticed until now. It really tells you the power of these fuck ball celebrity’s PR Flacks. Good ones have you seeming like the all American boy who everyone ones to fuck their apple pie-assed daughters. Bad ones (or sisters, instead of good ones) have people counting the days until your movie tanks and hoping he moves to Santa Barbara and some Scientology hating DA plants kiddy porn in his IMAC. If there is a non alien-god out there, I would like use this forum to ask him to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let us find Tom Cruise dead in some seedy motel with a male hooker and a mound of Coke that he PERSONALLY, PERSONALLY just got off of. All kidding aside, I will buy beers if anyone shoots the guy in the head with something non liquid.
Monday’s Hangover: The Liveblog Experiment – Updated 8:01pm
Hey kids, Lou here… You know, sometimes I wonder how the hell I ended up with a website named SorryIGotDrunk, then I wake up at midnight on a Sunday night, drunk in the back seat of my car parked on some random street in Hollywood with a freaking parking ticket on the windshield and somehow it all makes sense. I’m still piecing the details of the weekend together. I remember there was a party with the TVgasm crew on Saturday.. I’m pretty sure that Lazlo got arrested or something like that.. I’m sure there’s more that will come to me as the day progresses so I’m going to try something new today. I’m going to liveblog Monday, in a sense. I’m going to start listing stuff I’m thinking about, and as more stuff comes to me, I’ll add them. So check back throughout the day and maybe I’ll have some funny shit there for ya. But just know, there’s also a distinct chance I’ll pass out before lunch and get fired for sleeping at my desk. Again.
- I had planned on posting something about the fact that there was no new Cruise News™ this weekend, then of course, this happens. Well played Tommy. Well played.
- Why are there a million unbelievably hot girls in LA and yet I go home and Tivo Jessica Simpson videos? Jesus Christ.
- Saw Hitch on Netflix this weekend. One word. Areyoufuckingkiddingme?
Quick Shots: Eating, Drinking, Smoking & Crying?
Hey Drunks, Lou here… Sorry I’ve been so scarce lately. Too much workin’, not enough drinkin’. And, shit, it ain’t easy being greasy, na’mean? Just thought I’d drop a few good links to pass the rest of the day away until I get my head out of my arse and post something legit.
· Like Eating? Like Crying? Well, wait until you see Crying While Eating. I’m not sure if it’s ridiculous or brilliant, but it just makes me smile.
· 1000 Bars in one year. If I’m still alive when I’m this guy’s age, I’m doing this.
· And just for shits and giggles, how about a couple pictures of SkeleBlohan™ leaving the Spider Club and picking up her cigarette from the ground?
(Pics After The Jump)
