Tipsy moose beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Bull moose strung with lights and tipsy on crab apples

By JULIA O’MALLEY
jomalley@adn.com
What do you call a bull moose tangled in Christmas lights and drunk on fermented crab apples, standing glassy-eyed and dizzy in the front yard of a downtown bar?
Buzzwinkle?
But seriously, the juiced moose had certainly seen better days than Tuesday, when he became a bewildered tourist attraction, parked in the courtyard of Bernie’s Bungalow Lounge as shoppers clicked by with their Nordstrom bags.
“He just has this goofy look on his face,” said Rick Sinnott, a Fish and Game biologist who came to check on him and guessed he’d probably eaten too many crab apples from an old tree in Bernie’s yard.
“He’s either drunk or in gastric distress.”

Even before his crab-apple bender, the downtown moose was something of a seasonal celebrity, making the television news after he spent the weekend clumping along the avenues with his big rack, thrilling the holiday shopping throngs.
But Tuesday was a banner day for moose hijinks. It started when he stopped to nibble the trees in Town Square Park, which had recently been strung with expensive LED Christmas lights. They snagged in his antlers, and he seemed roped to a tree for a while, generating numerous calls to Sinnott’s office from passers-by. After some effort, the moose freed himself, but took the light string with him, dragging it through traffic.
Sinnott sees snagged moose all the time — Christmas lights, hammocks, swing sets. Usually the animal will pull itself free, though occasionally, for bad snarls, it will have to be drugged and untangled by biologists. Those tangled moose get tagged.
Buzzwinkle has one such tag, which means he’s a repeat offender.
After Town Square Park, the moose squeezed into the courtyard at Bernie’s, where he settled in a pile of crab apples and eventually assumed a disoriented stance, staring into space, snorting steam. What was on his moose mind? Was he dreaming of chewing spring buds or sleeping in the tall summer grass? Was he filled with crab-appletini regret? Hard to say.
“He’s just been in the same spot since I got here,” said Gina Senior, a bartender at Bernie’s. “He’s not really doing much except standing there.”
You can’t do much for a drunk moose except wait for him to sober up, Sinnott said. And he’s in a pretty good place — among Bernie’s fountains and yard sculptures, behind a hedge, safe from passing traffic.
Even Sinnott couldn’t resist the pull of a bad moose one-liner.
“These country moose can’t always hold their liquor,” he said.

Actor Mickey Rourke Arrested In Miami Beach – Police Say He Was Driving Scooter Drunk
MIAMI BEACH, Fla. — Actor Mickey Rourke is in a Miami jail after being arrested for driving under the influence while riding a Vespa scooter erratically in Miami Beach.
Miami Beach police stopped Rourke at 4:11 a.m. on Washington Avenue after he made a U-turn on a red light then drove “weaving from the left lane to the right lane several times and then down the center of the roadway.”
The police officer stated that Rourke got off the 2007 green Vespa scooter after being stopped and stated, “What the (expletive) did I do?”
The officer said Rourke had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath. After failing a field sobriety test, Rourke was arrested on charges of driving under the influence.
“I’m not drunk. I didn’t even drink that much,” Rourke said.
The 53-year-old Rourke, who is listed as self-employed on the police report, has a residence in Miami Beach.
He remains in the Dade County Jail and his bond has been set at $1,000.
[LINK]

Who needs to worry about a breathalizer or drunk driving when you have an armada of Robots in Disguise AND Indiana Jones to drive you around?!? What I’m trying to say is that obviously life is hard for LaBuff and who hasn’t thrown a tantrum in a drug store before? Did you know you need a note from your doctor to get to all those wonderful bottles of pills in the back by the pharmacy?
I know, me neither.

From CNN:
CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) — Shia LaBeouf was charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing after the “Transformers” star refused to leave a Chicago drug store, police said Sunday.
A security guard told LaBeouf that he needed to leave the Walgreens store because he appeared to be drunk, police said.
When LaBeouf, 21, refused to leave, the security guard detained him and called police at about 2:30 a.m., according to police spokeswoman Laura Kubiak.
After he was arrested, police noted that LaBeouf was “very courteous and polite,” Kubiak said. Police said he posted bond before 7 a.m., but Kubiak did not know the amount.
LaBeouf, of Glendale, California, is scheduled to appear in Cook County court on November 28.
Police did not administer a sobriety test because LaBeouf was not driving a vehicle, Kubiak said.
Publicists for LaBeouf did not immediately return calls for comment.
The actor is set to co-star with Harrison Ford in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” due in theaters next year.