It’s that time of year again and Holiday Liquor specials are on the shelves again. If you’re like me, you’ll be drinking your fair share of booze during the next month. I like to buy gift sets for teetotaler family and friends, play stupid and sneak the gifted drinks when no one’s looking. It’s like re-gifting to yourself, so be sure to buy something good. You deserve it.
By: Sweepea
We at the Booze Quest Labs have been taking the past couple months researching the best Bloody Mary. It’s been quite painstaking and extensive, but I think I’ve found the perfect mixture of tomato juice, spices, garnishes, and any other item that can make an outstanding cocktail. Here are my findings:
Jerry’s Deli, Studio City, CA:
Glass: daiquiri glass
Consistency:watery
Strength: weak. Probably less than 1 shot of vodka
Garnish: lemon wedge
Analysis: Seeing the paleness of the cocktail got my hopes up that it would be a stronger drink, but it was just water that made the Bloody Mary at Jerry’s so washed-out. I barely tasted any kick or spices, so it tasted essentially like a watery tomato juice. Even after adding Tabasco sauce, it still was not tasty enough.
Final score: 3/10
Wood Ranch Restaurant, The Grove, CA:
Glass: pint glass, salt-rimmed
Consistency:thick, with a viscosity level of approximately 3 outta 5.
Strength: strong. Probably about 1 1/2 shots of vodka
Garnish: lemon and celery stalk
Analysis: Nothing surprising here. This is your standard, run-of-the-mill Bloody Mary that you learn in bartending school. Nothing inventive or new, but the taste was good enough to kick it over an average rating.
Final score: 6/10
By: Sweepea
I usually order Vodka Collins when I go to bar. But when I got tickets to The Magic Castle in Hollywood, I thought I’d go for something fancier – the Singapore Sling.
If you’ve never been to The Magic Castle, it is a private club for magicians and their friends that is nestled in the hills of Hollywood. Inside is a multi-story mansion with gothic decor and a bar around every corner. They have a few showrooms where you can see magic shows, and you have to dress up and bring a lot of cash because everything is over-priced. I especially like going because – for some reason – I’m always picked as the magician’s unwitting volunteer to assist in a trick or two.
I get a group of five of us to go and after saying “Open Sesame!” a wall slides open and we’re in the club. We head directly for the piano lounge and get the waitress’ attention. The cocktail waitress shortly returns with our drinks.
Drink #1: In the piano lounge, there’s a grand piano placed in the corner with an empty chair in front of it. If you talk to the general area, the piano keys come alive and play a song in response to your request, supposedly played by the ghostly pianist Irma. For example, when my friend Jonah walks in carrying two drinks, Irma plays “How Dry I Am.” If you put money in the tip jar she plays “We’re in the Money.” While Irma plays on we decide which magic shows we’re going to hit; we definitely want to finish the night with the big show in the main showroom. But we have time to hit a smaller show now, so we walk over to one of the small galleries. I make sure to stop off at the bar on the way to get another drink.
By: Sweepea
I’m going to San Diego with Gina for the weekend to gamble my paycheck away at the grand Harrah’s hotel in Rincon Valley. The casino has a very traditional, Vegas feel. I feel a little old school atmosphere warrants more flexibility and adventure. So this weekend’s drink, no – theme – is going to be Shots & Chasers.
I arrive at the casino Friday and head straight for the bar with Gina. We order a tequila shot and beers. The bartender – the smart, savvy businessman that he is – upsells us to a higher caliber.
Round #1: 1800 Tequila shot, Budweiser chaser
Gina and I toast to our luck and down the shot. It’s so smooth that it goes down quickly and I don’t even need the lime. The bartender gives us a “Good luck, ladies,” and we’re on our way to the slots. We decide to head to the cheap penny slots – to keep our money for booze. The slots are more like games in the penny section; if you hit a certain combo they bring up a bonus round where you make picks and play a mini-game. We find two machines next to each other and I stick in a 20 dollar bill.
It’s an hour later and Gina and I have finished our beers. She’s up $10 on her machine, I’m down to $5.75. We order another round from a cocktail waitress, this time the cheap tequila.
By: Sweepea
I decide to give the Mojito a try when Gina and I met some friends for a Girls Night. My friend Summer says they make the best Mojitos at this place. I’ve had a good Mojito before, so I’m up to the challenge. I find the group in a back room taking up a big booth, and I settle in between Summer and Missy.
Drink #1: First round. It seems more minty than I’d like, but it’s still good. The bartender muddled the mint leaves well, and it’s garnished nicely. Overall presentation is good, but the flavor could improve. Meanwhile the girls are having a real “Sex and the City”-type conversation about male genitalia. I’m going to need another drink.
By: Sweepea
I go to my friend Sasha’s house for a barbecue. She is especially excited that I came because she wants me to make drinks. (This has become one of my biggest problems now: you go to a party, they hear you went to Bartending School, and they want you to make the drinks. What happened to just being a guest?) I agree to make drinks for her because I’m what you may call a Giver. But agree to do it on one condition: everyone has to give me lots of tips.
I decide to make the debatable Flirtini. I say debatable, because the drink became known during two different seasons of “Sex and the City.” Apparently in one season the drink was made one way, and in the next it was made a different way. So sometimes it’s made with primarily pineapple juice and champagne, but I decide to make them the other way: with the addition of Raspberry Stoli. (For the detailed recipe, go to the Cocktail Recipe du Jour at Sweepea’s Lounge.) After making a batch for about 4 or 5 people, I pour myself one.
Drink #1: Not too shabby of a martini. It’s got a nice sunset color which makes it especially appealing. I’m still getting the hang of Sasha’s cocktail shaker – which is this cheap plastic, not tin – so I spill a little bit on the counter. “I’m still a rookie,” I explain to the spectators, so as not to insult her lack of good barware. But at least I know what to buy her for Christmas, right?
By: Sweepea
My co-worker Tess is going to perform in a comedy show, so I decide on the Vodka Collins for the night. I go with two of my co-workers Thomas and Jim and we find a table near the stage. “Oh great,” Jim says. “We’re definitely going to get heckled up front.”
Drink #1: The waitress brings me my Vodka Collins and asks if that’s what my second drink will be, to comply with their two-drink minimum. “Yes, but -” I start, but she’s already walking away. I don’t know why I had to order it right at that moment, but I shrug it off.
The first comic comes on stage and he’s average. He tells a lot of jokes about his own race – which I guess is better than making fun of someone else’s. I personally don’t care what they talk about as long as it’s funny. Just like Jim predicted he starts in on me sitting in between two guys. “What’s this?” he asks, gesturing to us. “You on Elimi-date? You doing foreplay for a three-way?” and there’s mild laughter.
By: Sweepea
Tonight’s drink is the Long Island Iced Tea. I decide to give it a whirl with some co-workers at a dinner in Hollywood. I’m always nervous ordering a Long Island Iced Tea, because I’ve had my share of bad ones. So when I order it up I eye the bartender’s process very carefully. Wow, he’s using Jack Daniels instead of Coke to give it that tea color. Brilliant!
Drink #1: The substitution of more alcohol for soda is definitely a plus – and that goes for any drink. The Tea still goes down really smooth – and it tastes like a real iced tea. The guy’s an effing genius. More people from work are coming in and I spot one of my million bosses. I hide behind Tall Thomas. Not in the mood for business-small-talk-bullshit.
Tall Thomas notes my drink and I get a look of doubt. “You know what’s in that thing?” he asks me. Yes, and to prove it I order a second one, making the bartender smile. “You’re the smartest girl here,” he says. “You’re ordering the drink with the most alcohol!” I give a smug look back at Tall Thomas.
By: Sweepea
Tonight’s drink is going to be the Bloody Mary. I’m going to my friend Missy’s surprise birthday party in Hollywood and I thought I’d give the classic tomato juice mixture a try. I reach the restaurant with enough time to hit the bar before Missy arrives, and I order my first one. Strangely the bartender asks, “With salt?” and I pause. They all come with salt – and pepper, and celery salt. So, a bit confused, I say yes.
Drink #1: *cough cough* The bartender – although cute – made this Bloody Mary way too spicy. Lay off the Tabasco, my man! Not only that, but he took my salt request as putting salt on the rim. A third look and I realize he’s forgotten the celery stalk! Bad bartender! Bad!
Sweepea is not too happy a camper at this point. But I’m halfway back to my seat and deep into a throng of party people, so I attempt to try this Bloody Mary instead of fighting the crowd again. I sit with my friends and we chat as we wait for Missy’s grand entrance. A quick poll of the table confirms my confusion over putting salt on the rim of a Bloody Mary. No one’s ever seen it served this way before. Maybe it’s this place’s version of the cocktail, we rationalize. It’s actually quite good with the salted rim…but then again I could eat a whole salt lick by myself.
By: Sweepea
Since going to Bartending School, I realized that there are a lot of drinks out there that sound fantastic but I’ve never tried. So I’ve decided that for every night I go out I’ll dedicate the entire night to one drink. And thus each shall make up what will be dubbed thine Booze Quest.
Tonight’s drink is going to be the Cape Cod, which is simply vodka and cranberry juice. Lou and I go to see my friend’s band perform at this place in Santa Monica. It’s a wanna-be jazz club, decorated with red velvet curtains and huge black and white pictures of old stars. A little kitschy, but nice.
Drink #1: The waitress brings me my first drink and it’s rather pink – meaning there’s more vodka than cranberry. This bartender seems to know his stuff: get the customer drunk on the first one, and bring on the watered-down ones progressively. I know his game… Anyway, we’re sitting among friends and they’re talking about work and movies and things I’ve never seen or heard of. And I’m really thirsty, so I finish the Cape Cod quickly and order another.
