I never trust a man that doesn’t drink.
– John Wayne
(me neither, John!)
Archive for
Sweepea’s Drunk Quote o’ the Day
Classic Drunk: Errol Flynn
as previously posted on Sweepea’s Lounge
A 6-foot, 2-inch tall Tasmanian devil of the new sound pictures in Hollywood, Flynn’s reputation as a troublemaker and a ladies’ man was well-earned. His roles in “Adventures of Robin Hood,” “Captain Blood,” and “Don Juan” quickly promoted his status as the Hollywood romeo.
He liked all the best things in life: sex, drinking, sex, boating, sex, fighting, and more sex. Oh yeah, and did we mention sex? When banned from drinking on a film set, Flynn injected oranges with vodka and would eat them during his breaks.
So publicized were his exploits that his off-screen life riveted fans more than his roles on-screen. Most notoriously, he was charged with statutory rape in 1942 but was acquitted — and the press coined the phrase “in like Flynn”. The incident did not tarnish his career; in fact, it served to increase his reputation as a ladies’ man.
Sweepea’s Drunk Quote o’ the Day
“Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day.”
– Dean Martin
BoozeQuest Research: The Best Bloody Mary
By: Sweepea
We at the Booze Quest Labs have been taking the past couple months researching the best Bloody Mary. It’s been quite painstaking and extensive, but I think I’ve found the perfect mixture of tomato juice, spices, garnishes, and any other item that can make an outstanding cocktail. Here are my findings:
Jerry’s Deli, Studio City, CA:
Glass: daiquiri glass
Consistency:watery
Strength: weak. Probably less than 1 shot of vodka
Garnish: lemon wedge
Analysis: Seeing the paleness of the cocktail got my hopes up that it would be a stronger drink, but it was just water that made the Bloody Mary at Jerry’s so washed-out. I barely tasted any kick or spices, so it tasted essentially like a watery tomato juice. Even after adding Tabasco sauce, it still was not tasty enough.
Final score: 3/10
Wood Ranch Restaurant, The Grove, CA:
Glass: pint glass, salt-rimmed
Consistency:thick, with a viscosity level of approximately 3 outta 5.
Strength: strong. Probably about 1 1/2 shots of vodka
Garnish: lemon and celery stalk
Analysis: Nothing surprising here. This is your standard, run-of-the-mill Bloody Mary that you learn in bartending school. Nothing inventive or new, but the taste was good enough to kick it over an average rating.
Final score: 6/10
BoozeQuest: The Singapore Sling
By: Sweepea
I usually order Vodka Collins when I go to bar. But when I got tickets to The Magic Castle in Hollywood, I thought I’d go for something fancier – the Singapore Sling.
If you’ve never been to The Magic Castle, it is a private club for magicians and their friends that is nestled in the hills of Hollywood. Inside is a multi-story mansion with gothic decor and a bar around every corner. They have a few showrooms where you can see magic shows, and you have to dress up and bring a lot of cash because everything is over-priced. I especially like going because – for some reason – I’m always picked as the magician’s unwitting volunteer to assist in a trick or two.
I get a group of five of us to go and after saying “Open Sesame!” a wall slides open and we’re in the club. We head directly for the piano lounge and get the waitress’ attention. The cocktail waitress shortly returns with our drinks.
Drink #1: In the piano lounge, there’s a grand piano placed in the corner with an empty chair in front of it. If you talk to the general area, the piano keys come alive and play a song in response to your request, supposedly played by the ghostly pianist Irma. For example, when my friend Jonah walks in carrying two drinks, Irma plays “How Dry I Am.” If you put money in the tip jar she plays “We’re in the Money.” While Irma plays on we decide which magic shows we’re going to hit; we definitely want to finish the night with the big show in the main showroom. But we have time to hit a smaller show now, so we walk over to one of the small galleries. I make sure to stop off at the bar on the way to get another drink.
BoozeQuest: Shots & Chasers
By: Sweepea
I’m going to San Diego with Gina for the weekend to gamble my paycheck away at the grand Harrah’s hotel in Rincon Valley. The casino has a very traditional, Vegas feel. I feel a little old school atmosphere warrants more flexibility and adventure. So this weekend’s drink, no – theme – is going to be Shots & Chasers.
I arrive at the casino Friday and head straight for the bar with Gina. We order a tequila shot and beers. The bartender – the smart, savvy businessman that he is – upsells us to a higher caliber.
Round #1: 1800 Tequila shot, Budweiser chaser
Gina and I toast to our luck and down the shot. It’s so smooth that it goes down quickly and I don’t even need the lime. The bartender gives us a “Good luck, ladies,” and we’re on our way to the slots. We decide to head to the cheap penny slots – to keep our money for booze. The slots are more like games in the penny section; if you hit a certain combo they bring up a bonus round where you make picks and play a mini-game. We find two machines next to each other and I stick in a 20 dollar bill.
It’s an hour later and Gina and I have finished our beers. She’s up $10 on her machine, I’m down to $5.75. We order another round from a cocktail waitress, this time the cheap tequila.
Booze Quest: The Mojito
By: Sweepea
I decide to give the Mojito a try when Gina and I met some friends for a Girls Night. My friend Summer says they make the best Mojitos at this place. I’ve had a good Mojito before, so I’m up to the challenge. I find the group in a back room taking up a big booth, and I settle in between Summer and Missy.
Drink #1: First round. It seems more minty than I’d like, but it’s still good. The bartender muddled the mint leaves well, and it’s garnished nicely. Overall presentation is good, but the flavor could improve. Meanwhile the girls are having a real “Sex and the City”-type conversation about male genitalia. I’m going to need another drink.
BoozeQuest: The Flirtini
By: Sweepea
I go to my friend Sasha’s house for a barbecue. She is especially excited that I came because she wants me to make drinks. (This has become one of my biggest problems now: you go to a party, they hear you went to Bartending School, and they want you to make the drinks. What happened to just being a guest?) I agree to make drinks for her because I’m what you may call a Giver. But agree to do it on one condition: everyone has to give me lots of tips.
I decide to make the debatable Flirtini. I say debatable, because the drink became known during two different seasons of “Sex and the City.” Apparently in one season the drink was made one way, and in the next it was made a different way. So sometimes it’s made with primarily pineapple juice and champagne, but I decide to make them the other way: with the addition of Raspberry Stoli. (For the detailed recipe, go to the Cocktail Recipe du Jour at Sweepea’s Lounge.) After making a batch for about 4 or 5 people, I pour myself one.
Drink #1: Not too shabby of a martini. It’s got a nice sunset color which makes it especially appealing. I’m still getting the hang of Sasha’s cocktail shaker – which is this cheap plastic, not tin – so I spill a little bit on the counter. “I’m still a rookie,” I explain to the spectators, so as not to insult her lack of good barware. But at least I know what to buy her for Christmas, right?
Booze Quest: The Vodka Collins
By: Sweepea
My co-worker Tess is going to perform in a comedy show, so I decide on the Vodka Collins for the night. I go with two of my co-workers Thomas and Jim and we find a table near the stage. “Oh great,” Jim says. “We’re definitely going to get heckled up front.”
Drink #1: The waitress brings me my Vodka Collins and asks if that’s what my second drink will be, to comply with their two-drink minimum. “Yes, but -” I start, but she’s already walking away. I don’t know why I had to order it right at that moment, but I shrug it off.
The first comic comes on stage and he’s average. He tells a lot of jokes about his own race – which I guess is better than making fun of someone else’s. I personally don’t care what they talk about as long as it’s funny. Just like Jim predicted he starts in on me sitting in between two guys. “What’s this?” he asks, gesturing to us. “You on Elimi-date? You doing foreplay for a three-way?” and there’s mild laughter.
