Have you ever been so drunk you wet the bed? Not even sleeping, just standing over, pissing on it?
–Zach Galifianakis
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Justus’ Drunk Quote of the Day
Justus’ Drunk Quote of the Day
It only takes one drink to get me drunk– I can just never remember if its the eighth or ninth.
–George Burns
Justus’ Drunk Quote of the Day
“By the way you guys, can I just say as a side note, I am loving this can-wine thing, I think it’s brilliant. I mean I’m active, I’m gesturing with my hands, and I don’t feel restricted. If I was holding a wine glass right now I’d be spilling wine all over the god damn place”
–Dennis (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
Justus’ Drunk Quote of the Day
Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
–Author Unknown
Justus’ Drunk Quotes of the Day
Can’t just do one for this guy…
• Everybody has to believe in something… I believe I’ll have another drink.
• Once … in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
• I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
• I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
• More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
• The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
• Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snake bite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.
–W.C. Fields
Justus’ Drunk Quote of the Day
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
–Joe E. Lewis
Justus’ Drunk Quote of the Day
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say “scientists”? I meant “Irish people.”
–Tina Fey
Dave Letterman – Beer Shooter
We’ve all been there. You’ve just finished slamming another Coors Light and damn it you just got back from the bathroom. Who needs to get up AGAIN to get another beer, right? Your dog is no good. You know better than to yell across the house for your girl to help you in your time of need. If only there was a robot that could help. If only…
