Archive for April 2007
Drunk Quote Of The Day
It’s like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
–Patton Oswalt
DRAFTS ON DRAFT DAY III: The Return Of Lazlo
My hands are shaking as I write this. 24 hours from now I will be entering hour 4 out of 30 of the NFL draft. Hour 4 is where anything can happen. In 2002, Chris Berman shit his pants during hour number 4. Look it up.
So if you know anything about Lazlo, you know he likes his football and he likes his beer. He likes to mix them up real good and fuck shit up old school style. And if you really know Lazlo, you know he loves the NFL draft. It is the day when the slate is wiped clean for all 32 teams (well except the Packers, fuck those guys) and everyone has the bright eyed optimism that a young Lazlo once had before life (read: whore ex) beat him down (read: left him for the really hot guy at Jamba Juice) and turned him into the grizzled drunken chicken choker that he is today.
So what does Lazlo (yes I realize I am using the 3rd person a ton but I am preparing to listen to a lot of athletes speak this weekend) do for this specialist of occasions? He drinks silly. I also drink for Arbor day, garage sales, when it rains, and when I breath in air. But on Draft Day, I drink Draft beer. Yeah I know, that one took all of my creative jizzim. So join me 6AM PST (west coast or die bitches) and the rest of the crazy Sorry I Got Drunk gang as we try kill a quarter barrel of beer while watching all of the NFL draft. And oh yeah we will be live blogging the shiznit out of this mother f’er.
This is Lazlo saying, better grab an umbrella… cause I am about to make it rain.
LIVE BLOG AFTER JUMP..
Drunk Quote Of The Day
Like my daddy said, My guardian angel must be an alcoholic..
–Stephen Wright
Drunk Deposits Horse In Bank For Night
A German man called on his bank for an unusual service when he was too tired and drunk to go home — he bedded down there for the night with his horse.
The man, identified as Wolfgang H. by German media, went to sleep next to cash machines in the local branch of the Mittelbrandenburgische Sparkasse in Wiesenburg southwest of Berlin after unsaddling his horse Sammy and closing the door.
A spokeswoman for the bank said that aside from an undesirable deposit made by his horse inside the building, the 40-year-old account holder had not breached any house rules.
“The horse was otherwise very well behaved and kept a good watch on his master,” she said Wednesday. “Perhaps we should have a supply of oats and water on the premises in future.”
Another customer discovered the horse and rider as he slept and informed police, who asked the man to leave.
A police spokesman said that since the horse’s droppings had been removed, the matter was now closed.
[Yahoo News]
Transformers International Poster
Yeah, I know.. Nothing to do with drinking, right? Well, if you think I won’t have a bottle of something clear in my pocket during this flick doing a little transforming of my own, well you must not read this site very often and for that you should go sit in the corner for five minutes. Or click around the site, click the ads and shit and I don’t know, maybe contribute a little something to the world. Sorry.. Long day at work. May need a drink soon.
[AICN]
Video Clip: Colbert Report “Meta-Free-Phor-All” – Colbert vs. Sean Penn
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