MIAMI VICE – If you’re not speeding out of your work today and rushing to the nearest theatre only stopping along the way to pick up a bottle of rum and maybe a bag of cocaine in order to see this masterpiece then I don’t want you returning to the site. Ever. Seriously, go over to fucking Perez or some shit. We don’t want your kind here.

4 Drinks to Enjoy
THE ANT BULLY – I don’t have kids, (that I know about), and this isn’t a Pixar film so it doesn’t get my gin-soaked dollars and therefore shouldn’t be agettin’ yours.

9 Drinks to Enjoy
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE – With Colin Farrel and Jesse Metcalfe all having flicks this weekend, all you need is Peter Gallagher and you could have an Unconfortably Large Eybrow Triple Feature. Just like my mom used to take me to as a kid. Ah, the good ole days.

7 Drinks to Enjoy (Couple drinks off for the kickass poster though)