Read Lazlo’s Entire Account Here
Jan 22, 2006 10:19 AM – But it has worked well for Harvey Weinstein. So it is fucking cold up in this piece. Having lived in Southern Cali for the last 6 years you forgot that the cold, especially mountain cold, is sobering. Which sucks billy goat balls. So for film folk, Spring Break doesn’t end with college graduation, it just moved to Park City and got higher end sponsors. This place is nuttier then Flava Flav at a “white women who love cracked out black men” convention.
I stayed sober long enough to see one movie yesterday, a Paul Giamatti flick called A HAWK IS DYING. It is the tale of a man and his hawk and the bond they form after the death of the man’s nephew. I wish that last sentence was a joke but it is so not. I will now directly address Mr. Giamatti:

Paul, we get it. You are a good actor. Probably one of the bests for your archetype in the game today. But if you don’t get your head out of your ass and make fun movies instead of this depressing man love animal shit, I will cut you. Make me laugh clown.

Guess what? After that depressing piece of bird shit, I needed a drink, and several. Went to a little watering whole on Main Street called Cicero’s and erased all the crap indie film from my mind. After a little din din and some nasal congestor medicine, it was into the belly of the beast. We went to the Motorola party and Lazlo proceeded to put a huge fuckin’ dent in their supply of Jack Daniel’s. The placed was insanely packed, as all of these things are. After about my 800th Jack and Coke and coke, I look next to me and Sting was having a conversation with Kevin Sorbo. Normally I would chalk seeing that up to an acid flashback from my hippie days, but seeing shit like this is what Sundance is all about.
Bout 4am, I could not see straight so I figured that was my cue to leave. That is when the funniest thing happened. Walking down an empty Main Street, a black SUV screeches to a hault and a stick thin blond somersaults out and stumbles to the door of the party. The door guy stops her and tells her to wait at the front entrance. She replied “I am Paris Hilton, the biggest celebrity at Sundance.” I proceed to fall down laughing, much to the delight of the door guy, and mockingly repeat her line as I went upon my merry way. Funny, cause I would have assumed she would have no problem with going backdoor.
Off to get drunk and watch football on the company dime while I should be seeing movies.
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