American Idol Drinking Game

Now, we here at SIGD would never endorse a show as depraving and amoral as American Idol with all of its scantily clad slut whole teenage girls and closeted homosexual sinner boys, but we do have a saying around here.. “If your going to watch American Idol, you should drink while you’re doing it.” And you can replace “watch American Idol” with “mow the lawn” or “visit your grandparents” or “go to work.” You get the idea. So with that, I give you The American Idol Drinking Game:
DRINK:
If a male contestant is wearing makeup.
If Paula says that a contestant is NOT amazing.
If a female contestant cries.
A shot if a contestant begins to cry hysterically and says anything along the lines of: “This is bullshit! I can’t believe they rejected me. They don’t know what talent is! Simon is a fucking asshole!!! I am going to be a star, I don’t even care. Waaaa! Waaaa!”
If a contestant is wearing a belly shirt and should not be wearing a belly shirt.
If a contestant raps.
If a contestant is reading lyrics off his/her hand.
If Ryan Seacrest is wearing a shirt in boy’s size small.
Ten shots if Ryan Seacrest doesn’t look gay.
If Randy says “dog.”
If someone says Simon is a(n): asshole, dick, loser, jerk, or is rude.
A shot if they call him a “wanker.”
If a hot chick is eliminated just because she can’t sing. Shallow.

If a contestant quit their job to try out for Idol.
A shot if the contestant left their kid at home to try out for Idol.
Two shots if the contestant brought their kid with them.
If a contestant sings a song by Christina Aguilera.
If a contestant is wearing a costume.
Each time they bleep out a swear with that little blue Idol logo.
A shot if a guy is wearing a dress.
If Randy says “dude.”
If, while watching Idol, you question the future of our country.
If a contestant sings an original song.
If twins sing together.
A shot if they are eliminated together.
If Paula says a contestant “has a lot of passion/energy/charisma.” But sucks.
If a contestant forgets their words.
If Paula shakes her head in utter amazement at the angel singing before her.
If Paula cracks up laughing in utter amazement at the angel singing before her.
Whenever Simon has his “deer in the headlights” look.
If a contestant is in a shitty local band.
If a contestant’s family members are quoted saying they “think he/she is a really good singer.”
If you ever wonder to yourself: “What the fuck is on that yellow paper they get when the move on.”
If you crack up laughing at a contestant’s performance.
If a contestant sings a song by a former Idol contestant.
If Paula hits Simon.
If a contestant reminds Simon of something. (Example: “You remind me of a wasp.”)
If a contestant was eliminated last year, took the judges’ advice, took voice lessons, practiced for hours everyday, and then got eliminated again.
Your rules:
If a guy is eliminated clearly because he looks and sings like Corey Clark. (Tracey R.)
A shot if a contestant sings a “Paula Abdul” song. (Steve)
If someone calls Randy ‘dog’ when they walk in. (Steve F.)
Five shots if they show a flashback of Paula and Simon either: a.) Getting frisky or b.) Getting angry at each other. (Michael D.) [Ed. Note: Since that happens often, we suggest only doing four shots.]
[ClubSidewalk]