lazlo.jpgYeah I know we are a little late in posting that Colin Farrell got sent up river to the old Betty Ford. Shit, we could have posted it 2 months ago and no one would batted a twitchy eyelash. So instead of bash the drunkard, I will share the story of the time I hung out with that fargin bastard.
So, we live in Hollywood and I used to hang out in Santa Monica when I had a common law marriage to a wildebeest of a women name Camille. So, Camille and I were hanging out at this little British pub type place called the Kings Head one night after she got off of work. You gotta love California, it is the only place you can walk out of a British pub and look through the palm trees to see the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean.
So, anyway, I walk in there with my girlfriend and her really hot friend that I always dreamed about fucking when I got drunk enough to actually stuff my old lady, when this dude grabs Camille and whispers something in her ear. She smacks him and we walk away. “What the hell was that?” I asked. “That drunk Australian guy said he wanted to eat my asshole,” Camille’s friend replied which sent me rolling with laughter.


So, we get all good and boozed up and at the end of the night, Camille and I look around and her friend is no where to be found. We ask the bouncer if he has seen her anywhere and he says, “She took off with Colin about 20 minutes ago, she had her arm down his pants to the elbow.” Yes folks, that drunken Australian was the one the only Colin Farrell who used to troll the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica and pick off unsuspecting white chicks with his accent and drunken slur. I raise my glass to you sir and commend you on making it this far. You were a Sorry Drunk and a hard working actor quite some time and you should be commended for it. But I know Lou, and you sir are no Lou. A true Sorry Drunk doesn’t go to any rehab that isn’t court appointed and does not quit unless there are dead bodies and nightmares involved and EVEN THEN he goes down swinging with a sports car and a member of Oingo Boingo. 28 days. You little bitch. I will see you doing body shots of a Hooters girl in Panama City soon.
Until then this is Lazlo saying, COLIN, QUITTERS NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING – FUCKRAG