Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – Another November, another freakin Potter movie. Still haven’t seen one. I don’t care how many “adult” directors you put at the helm. Until that little brunette is of age to start showing some skin, I’m out. Scratch that. She doesn’t have to be of age, just has to show something. You know, for her craft.

9 Drinks to Enjoy
Walk the Line – In the long tradition of The Ron Goldman Story and Fox’s little watched Menendez Brothers’ Christmas Special, we get another biopic that’s released before the body is even cold. In this gem, Johnny Cash is played by River Phoneix’s retarded younger brother who tries to make us believe he is someone who is actually talented. If June Carter Cash were alive today, she would take Reese Witherspoon’s three sets of teeth out and fashion a medieval torture device to finally put her whiny little face out of commision for even attempting to play her. I just can’t wait until next year when Joanqueen or Jowkween or whatever his name is teams up with Kanye West to rape another dead legend with Joliet County Blues. Other than that, looks like a great film.

7 Drinks to Enjoy