Aloha Drunks…
It’s been a great week over here at the SIGD Pool Hall & Gentlemen’s Club but sometimes even us drunks have to get out of town and find out what gin tastes like in different locales. So, tomorrow morning Laz and I will be using our free tickets we got last Christmas while stuck in LAX overnight and boarding a plane for the golden paradise of Waikiki Beach, Hawaii for some Thanksgiving retardedness.
Unfortunately, Laz was unable to procure, (read: steal), a laptop so no posts until we return next Wednesday because all the other SorryDrunks don’t even know how to turn on a computer, much less handle code.
So, until we return to the mainland.. Happy Thanksgiving and stay drunk kids.
As Always, Mahalo,
Lou
Archive for November 2005
Thanksgiving In Paradise
Humpday Hotties: Amy Smart
This week’s HH has blessed us with some topless action in Road Trip, helped Dawson “not want your life” in Varsity Blues and this week teases a used to be fat Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends… So let’s give it up to another girl next door to be thankful for.. Amy Smart.
–More pics after the Jump.. Some NSFW–
PreView Reviews: Usher Is A Talentless Hack & Other Reasons To Get Blasted This Weekend
In the Mix – Please refer to the title of this post.
9 Drinks to Enjoy
Just Friends – There is no such thing as “just friends.” They’re just girls who you’ve already roofied and you know they just lay there.
7 Drinks to Enjoy
Rent – I think I would actually rather get AIDS than see this film.
9 Drinks to Enjoy
Yours, Mine & Ours – When it comes to kids, they’re yours, yours and yours. I don’t care what the test says.
9 Drinks to Enjoy
The Ice Harvest – Sometimes I sit down and try to find the snark to throw at these damn movies and I just can’t do it. Cusack. Billy Bob. Egon. Shit! I’m sure it’s a piece of shit because these always end up being those, but damn it, I just want it to be good. So there.
5 Drinks to Enjoy
Bartending 101: Don’t F With The Bartender
By: Sweepea
Today in class we learn about basic customer service. What I really learn is…
Don’t Fuck with the Bartender
There are a lot of ways to make a bartender do “tricks” when you order. But beware: bartenders are taught to get even. If you ask for a Cuba Libre NFL-style*, expect a watered-down drink and a lot less attention.
After Betty talks to us about how the customer is always right and good service means good tips blah blah blah, she talks about ways bartenders can mess with the customers when they’re pissing you off.
She starts by showing us how to make it look like you are pouring heavy when you’re actually not pouring much at all. All the bartender has to do is put their finger over the pour hole and touch the tip to the glass. It looks like alcohol is coming out of the bottle, when it’s just the glass image distorted through the ice.
Wait! Her Last Name Is Almost Like The Word Drunk! It’s Perfect! Mwuhahaha!
Well well well… Looks like we may have a drunken cat fight on our hands here in the land of the drunk blond bimbo “actresses”.. Could Kiki, or Kristen Drunkst as “some websites” are calling her be next in line for the Tarable title of drunkest chick in Ho-llywood? Let’s hope they maybe they can join forces and use their powers for good not evil. Or at least get some great drunk pictures of some of the fugliest boobs in town.
[Page Six]
Monday’s Hangover: LAPD Show Up At SIGD And We ROFL
Maybe it’s because it’s a short week or because I’m heading out of town on Thursday to fly to Hawaii or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been drunk for the past 72 hours and surely didn’t eat the correct amount to keep my body healthy. Maybe I’m just lazy. Whatever the reason, I’m just not into this today. Work. Blog. Talking to people. Breathing. Typing. I found that pic of the damn rabbit yesterday after four bloody mary’s and thought it was HI-larious. Now I just want to get a damn pistol and shoot and skin that damn Canadian bunny and use its pelt for a beer coozy. (A sexy one for sure) Oh yeah, f*ck you PETA. Just sayin.
Got the cops called on The Crack House yesterday for the first time. That was nice.
Caption This!
“Wait, is this fucking Canadian beer?!”
Posted by: Phill
Drunk Quote Of The Day
“I only drank Scotch. Dewar’s White Label.” He adds, “In this business, [going to rehab] is like going to get your teeth cleaned.”
–Billy Joel
[A Socialite's Life]
The Lazlo Ponders Life’s Most Important Questions Series Presents: Just A Backstage Kind Of Lazlo
Sup Booze heads…
So I have not written one of this bar review type things in a while. It was not because I had stopped drinking/died (I always tend to lump these things together) but it is due to the fact that lately I have found myself blind drunk on my coach and not suitable for public consumption. My sincerest apologies/fuck off.
Finding yourself sober in Beverly Hills is a bitch. Hell, finding yourself in Beverly Hills without pitchforks to stab the eyes of the rich is a drag, but I progress. Stu Copland, who managed the Police (kick ass) and Bangles (yicks) owns the downiest outest little bar off of the Rodeo. THE BACKSTAGE CAFE, with its Gold Records and rock paraphernalia lined walls has a pimp/cafe vibe to it which makes it one of the only places I can wet my beak in Beverly Hills that does not make me want to puke on a Botoxed lady wearing a mink.
PreView Reviews: I Fell Into A Burning Goblet Of Fire
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – Another November, another freakin Potter movie. Still haven’t seen one. I don’t care how many “adult” directors you put at the helm. Until that little brunette is of age to start showing some skin, I’m out. Scratch that. She doesn’t have to be of age, just has to show something. You know, for her craft.
9 Drinks to Enjoy
Walk the Line – In the long tradition of The Ron Goldman Story and Fox’s little watched Menendez Brothers’ Christmas Special, we get another biopic that’s released before the body is even cold. In this gem, Johnny Cash is played by River Phoneix’s retarded younger brother who tries to make us believe he is someone who is actually talented. If June Carter Cash were alive today, she would take Reese Witherspoon’s three sets of teeth out and fashion a medieval torture device to finally put her whiny little face out of commision for even attempting to play her. I just can’t wait until next year when Joanqueen or Jowkween or whatever his name is teams up with Kanye West to rape another dead legend with Joliet County Blues. Other than that, looks like a great film.
7 Drinks to Enjoy
