Why oh why do German’s dress they way they do? I was at Disneyland recently and these two 15-year-old kids were wearing cut off sleeve type t-shirt’s (one of them yellow, the other bright red), 12-eyed black Doc Martin’s, white crew sox and denim FUCKING CAPRI PANTS! Who does this? Do German public schools actually teach them how to look like idiots? I have family in Germany, so I’ve got plenty of love for the country, but who’s joke got overplayed!? Let’s not forget about their famous mo-hawk / faux-hawk hair style, which is just too damn easy for us to rip on. Is Bruno from Da Ali G show their idol and muse for fashion? I must have stared at these guys for 10 minutes, feeling like I was stuck in an alter-universe of some kind. While part of me felt the urge to walk up and spit on them, the other part of me wanted to run for the hills. Ultimately, I remained lethargic like our good friend the deer – glossy eyed and frozen in time waiting to be hit by a large white pick-up truck driven by a guy named Jessup. Perhaps they should stop watching BAYWATCH reruns and tune in to THE OC, then again, who would we point and laugh at if we didn’t have Germany, Canada? For once, let’s cut Canada some slack, they’re the butt of enough of our jokes. I here by declare a motion to start the “GDFS Foundation (German’s Dress For Shit) and make David Hasselhoff our fearless leader.
Ishta von uten housen zi crappin de Froielines!
Peace out.
Captain Kitchen