Hey all, spotdog here with this week’s PreView Reviews…
Serenity – I have an idea. Let’s take a crappy tv show that was cancelled because no one watched it, not even the Buffyfucks who suck Josh Whedon’s balls all day and make it into a freakin’ movie. The show sucked then. The movie will suck now. Serenity Not.
8 Drinks to Enjoy
Into The Blue – If this were called Into The Pink, I would so be first in line. Unfortunately, it isn’t, so I’ll probably just catch the Saturday matinee in Hollywood. Come by if your there. You won’t be able to miss me. I’ll be the one with the raincoat and sweatpants on.
6 Drinks to Enjoy
The Greatest Game Ever Played – Please.
9 Drinks to Enjoy
Archive for September 2005
Jessica Alba Is A Terrible Actress
Today’s Tara Tidbits
It’s been a couple days since a good quality Tarasite Post. So now our perennial party girl is upset with the press portaying her as a drunk.
“I’m not a drunk . . . I don’t have a drinking problem. I don’t have a drug problem, for sure. Listen, if I could get good movies, you would never see me going out.”
Shit, if I could get good movies, I wouldn’t be a drunk either. I’d be a raging coke head, but maybe that’s beside the point. I can only afford Boone’s Farm and Mad Dog right now, but finger crossed, ya know? I’m still waiting for my close up, Mr. Demille.
[Photos from Arena via A Socialite's Life]
Caption This!: The Rock
- If you smell what The Rock – Oh shit, The Rock is really cooking!
- Fucking Hollywood. Full of flamers.
- The Rock faces off with the newest WWE Sensation.. Out of the Closet Man.
- Now THAT is hot.
- We don’t need no water, let the motherfucking suit burn.
HLA With Tyra and JLH?
Honestly, I have nothing clever to say about this. I just love me some Jennifer Love Boobage. And seriously, is that all Tyra’s show is about is boobs. I have GOT to add this thing to my Tivo.
-Lou
[Hollywood Tuna]
Caption This!: Janet Jackson
“He dropped a pretzel in the SUV? WHERE?!?!”
Posted by: Papercuts!
“Hey look everybody! I found Tara Reid’s diaphragm!”
Posted by: jbird5150
Janet caught with 50 lbs of crack!
Posted by: graboid75
SorryIGotDrunk Buyer’s Guide: Lou’s Brew
Not like we need any help in having the Crack House fully stocked with various beers on any given day, but there’s really nothing like having your own brew. Hooray for the Mr. Beer Home Microbrewery. Apparently with this handy dandy contraption, in just a week or so, you too can have your own beer right there in a big bucket in your kitchen. Just like God meant it to be.
Now all they need is one of these to make homemade wine. (And no, Laz, prison wine does not count). And it’s not like I’m some kind of wine connoisseur or anything, it’s just wine gets the ladies trashed faster. And that also is how God meant it to be. Just sayin.
Drunk Quote Of The Day
“People act like it was the worst crime in the world. It was a mistake, you know! But you would think my boob had popped out and shot Gandhi!”
–Tara Reid in an interview for the November issue of FHM
LouVision: IF-THEN Edition
IF you drink SPARKS in a Laundromat on a Saturday afternoon…
THEN you may end up forcing sex on Ronald McDonald
An Open Letter To George W. Bush From The Drunks at SorryIGotDrunk.com
Dear Mr. President,
Welcome back.
Sincerely,
Lou & Lazlo
