Hey Kids,
Sorry for the lack of questionably funny shit lately, but when you live the life of a drunken sailor it is really hard to maintain a schedule. It’s summer and love is in the air (or in the fist for yours truly). So in honor of summer boning I give you the top ten pick up lines that will get you slapped. This one is dedicated to my co-worker Rosie, who has been perfecting some of these at bars for years
10. “I might not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”
9. “Is that a keg in your pants, ’cause I’d like to tap that ass!”
8. “Girl, you are definitely Hummer worthy, and by that I definitely do not mean the Truck”
7. “You wanna get a Pizza and Fuck?” SLAP “What, you don’t like Pizza?”
6. “Do you know the difference between a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich and a BJ? No, well then would you like to go back to my place for a sandwich.”

5. “A few more beers and I might consider nailing you.”
4. “I am really into Women’s Issues. Not so much feminism, but I like chicks with problems” © Lou 1998. [Ed. Note: Amen brotha]
3. “Nice Shoes wanna fuck?”
2. “Are you retarded? ’cause I think you’re special.”
1. “Were your parents terrorists? ’cause you’re tits are da bomb.”