Take me out to the bar stool
Take me out to the pub
By me a pint of P B R… You get the idea
If you ever head to Dodger Stadium to watch a game or a stabbing or such, you should give yourself a couple of hours and head to THE SHORT STOP on Sunset Blvd. before the game. It is a bar that used to be a cop bar (boooo) and is now a bar for East Hollywood Tattooed Hipsters (yeahhh). Old Laz had mixed feelings about the place when I walked in. But then I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my bloodshot eyes upon. Then the tatted up hottie pouring beers moved to the side and I saw an even more beautiful thing – $1 PINT DRAFTS. You don’t understand, finding $1 drafts in LA makes you feel like Indiana Jones without the hat and whip. I order up a round for my friends (5 bucks) and we nestled in for an afternoon of dinking dirt cheap and trucker hat trendy beer.

Now quick point about the trendiness of all things dirty. Laz has always been a big fan of white trash sheik, but I never called it trendy, I called it home. If you need any proof of that you should look at my exes. All of them in a lineup would be like people that Jerry Springer said no to. But here is the thing, All of the people wearing wife beaters, trucker hats, belt buckles and smoking ultra lights after they get done ordering a $20 dollar salad with no croutons, (god forbid they have a fucking carb), are the same people who were wearing Cross Colors jackets and saying things like “Wack” 5 years ago. They want to see trashy; they should follow Laz to where he cut his proverbial drunken tooth. Down in the deepest of the Southest of the Illinoisest, these dirty posers would not last one lap dance from Peggy, the girl who shoots blood from her nanooch in Carterville, (you have not lived my friends). I would kill to see the smile on the toothless waitress, Bethel, at Billy Jim BBQ Emporium in Murphysboro the first time one of these celebu-savantes asked for a latte with no foam. The tire iron would come out quicker then Michael Jackson’s pecker at a Menudo: The Movie showing. (MJ jokes… cheap yet so effective).
Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, The Short Stop. Fucking cool place for down and dirty drinking with down and dirty folks. You should definitely check out the cubby holes on the walls where the cops used to keep there guns under lock and key. I have often thought if I were every to get a gun I would need to have the same thing at my house so I would not shoot myself on a self-imposed Jager bet. But yeah this place is a down and out good time in the land of velvet rope suck asses.
So for a game or just a night trying to score with a girl whose uncle had a sly hand, try the SHORT STOP (I think I can sell them on that slogan).
OVERALL RANK: 9.5. These people define sorry drunks. To quote one of the greatest movies of all time VARSITY BLUES. “These are my people.”
This is Lazlo saying TAKE ME DRUNK, I AM HOME