Monday, May 30, 2005 10:07 AM
So, I guess being hung over is sort of how I am going to start a lot of these things, but today is kind of a special one. I spent last night terrorizing the streets of San Fran with my old drinking buddy K Dog. He was sans wife and I was sans sanity but that write-up will come later. So like the good little brainwashed traveler that I am, I show up really early for my flight and find myself at the Mission Bar with time to spare and brain cells to kill. I tear through 3 bloodys like a man on a mission and decided that this may be the worst airport bar in the history of inebriated travel. The drinks are high on price and low on both booze and flavor and they are served by a bartender named Chen that speaks no English and does not even attempt to rebuff my conversation. Dude’s job consists of getting me high and listening to me ramble while high and he can not do either with any grace. I debate in my head for a while if it is fair to judge a bar by my experience at said bar at 9 AM on a Monday and come to this conclusion:

If a bar can not satisfy 1 person at 9am it has no chance at satisfying the masses at any time..
Overall Rank: 5 – and this is on the sliding airport scale and is somewhat of a gift because I saw the manger say please and thank you to an employee that he was asking to clean up puke that was ejected from some dude who was on his way to Dallas, even for me that is a new one. If you can avoid traveling through San Fran airport I recommend it. It will make even the sorriest of drunks consider sobriety as a lifestyle choice.
This is Lazlo saying, your liver hates you. FUCK HIM.
Coming soon LAZ AND K DOG ATTACK SAN FRAN ……THOUSANDS DEAD, GODZILLA MISSING
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