Ah the Beanery. Legendary West Hollywood drinking establishment, Barney’s Beanery is kind of like an old girlfriend of mine, a fucking great time with the possibility the night may result in an arrest of some sort. I have been happily single for the past year or so and in that time I have found myself hanging out at this little gem quite a bit. Hell, in a whiskey induced haze last summer I tried to drag Lou over the patio railing cause he didn’t call me back or some pussy shit like that (I think I was on my man-period or something and Lou was gracious enough to accept my SorryIGotDrunk olive branch of Golden Tee and pitchers at the scene of the crime the next day. Like I said, great fucking time. The decor is straight out of a Hazzard repair garage. Keep in mind this place is in the heart of West Hollywood with bars called SPIKE, TRUNKS and COME GET DICK HERE (ok, I made that last one up) so what is essentially a rough and tumble biker bar (at least the Southern Cali version of one) is a nice change of pace. I will not go so far as to say that I support the sign that used to reside at the entrance pronouncing NO FAGS ALLOWED. People are not “doing drinks” at Barneys, they are tossing back little brain cell assassins quicker then Tom Cruise can take a bride.

But don’t let the dusty facade fool you; she can be a drain on the monitary resourses. On Sunday Lou and I spent close to nine hours in Barney’s, (we take this shit very seriously), and racked well over 250 bucks in beer and Jager (ouch). But if you stick to the pitchers (I think they are 12 bucks or so for Domestic) and stay away from the Jager Bombs (They top out at ten fucking bucks) and you are not a complete fucking alkie like Lou and I then you should be able to get sufficiently fucked up for a decent price. The waitresses are always decent – to – good looking little flirts and they serve food that is essentially the same (what… your food doesn’t flirt with you.)
Overall Rank: 8 – This bar is not without complete fault, but it is always a reliable drunken mess of a good time. If you do happen to make to Barney’s, tell them Lazlo sent ya. You will be tossed out quicker then George W trying to get into a Hamas safe house.
This is Lazlo – God Bless the LAPD and their hatred for paperwork at shift change time on Saturday nights.