Hey all, spotdog here with this week’s PreView Reviews…
Batman Begins – So, everyone got all upset when Schumacher gayed up Batman & Robin, right? But really, the Dynamic Duo? Come on. Bruce and Dick have always been TV’s first openly gay couple. Anyone who dresses up in rubber and swings around town with his little buddy, who by the way is named after that ferocious little bird that lays brown eggs – scary, is obviously involved in an “alternative lifestyle,” if you will. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.*
So what about this new movie? Shit, how am I supposed to know? I haven’t even seen the freakin’ movie yet. How do you expect me to give a review? Damn. It looks good, but it’s surely crap. How ’bout five. Yeah. Five Drinks.

5 Drinks to Enjoy
The Perfect Man – Seriously folks, this is getting ridiculous. Lizzie McGuire trying to hook up her mom, the MILF from Dallas, with that guy, Mr. Big from Sex And The City? It’s getting harder and harder to not just toss around my 10 Drink Rating like E Pills at a German rave. Mmmm. German rave. E pills. Uh, wait, where was I? Oh yeah, well, Horse Teeth McDuff alone virtually warrants the rating, but just because I’ve been a bit too liberal with it lately, and really, who gives a fuck about this abc family bullshit anyways? I’m going home.

13 Sleeping Pills and 1 Bottle of Everclear to Enjoy
*© Jerry Seinfeld, 1994