In other breaking news, Michael Jackson is creepy, Paris Hilton is skanky, and Tom Cruise could possibly have a crush on Katie Holmes. Oh, and as usual, I need a drink. – Lou
Source: Yahoo! News
Archive for June 2005
From Today’s “No Shit” File…
In other breaking news, Michael Jackson is creepy, Paris Hilton is skanky, and Tom Cruise could possibly have a crush on Katie Holmes. Oh, and as usual, I need a drink. – Lou
Source: Yahoo! News
Quick Shots: Eating, Drinking, Smoking & Crying?
Hey Drunks, Lou here… Sorry I’ve been so scarce lately. Too much workin’, not enough drinkin’. And, shit, it ain’t easy being greasy, na’mean? Just thought I’d drop a few good links to pass the rest of the day away until I get my head out of my arse and post something legit.
· Like Eating? Like Crying? Well, wait until you see Crying While Eating. I’m not sure if it’s ridiculous or brilliant, but it just makes me smile.
· 1000 Bars in one year. If I’m still alive when I’m this guy’s age, I’m doing this.
· And just for shits and giggles, how about a couple pictures of SkeleBlohan™ leaving the Spider Club and picking up her cigarette from the ground?
(Pics After The Jump)
The Lazlo Ponders Life’s Most Important Questions Series Presents: Stay Classy Maloney’s
Ah, San Diego, she is a powerful mistress. Living in LA is great, but seeing as I do not drive a Porsche, (more like Prelude), or look like Fabio, (more like Kevin James), women are very tricky to get in this town. Seeing as I have to rely on things other than my Hills pad and a mountain of coke, (1 out of 2 is not bad), I am forced to rely on charm. Sometimes I just do not have the energy to deal with all of the bullshit that comes with trying to date in LA. So that is when I take a trip to our bitchin’ little cousin city to the south, San Diego. San Diego is like the really hot friend of a supermodel who doesn’t get what the big deal is about her friend. And get this; you can talk to girls there without feeling like you should apologize for wasting their time when you are done. Plus most of them are really good looking. I keep thinking back to Eli Manning getting picked by the Chargers in the 2004 draft and then refusing to go there. If I am a 22 year old guy and you want to PAY me millions of dollars to go to some place with hot, cool chicks and great weather year round, I would bypass the post draft interviews quicker then Ricky Williams trying to find a lighter at a reggae festival and head straight for PB Beach Bar and start picking up chicks in bikini tops and sandals.
MJ Gets Off! He Beat It! Michael Jackson Is No Smooth Criminal! What A Thriller!
Too. Tired. To. Give. A. Shit. – Lou. (Just blame Paris. It’s easier that way.)
Riding The Bus With Jimmy Kimmel
Hey all, spotdog here. I sent this to the boys over at TVgasm, but I just couldn’t resist the temptation to play on Photoshop and get this glorious picture up…
And wouldn’t you know it… This is SorryIGotDrunk’s 100th post… Yeah, Drunks!
How To Drink A Guiness
Being that it’s Friday morning and I’m already counting the minutes until Happy Hour, I thought I’d offer up this quick link to A Guide For The Un-Initated To Buying Guinness In An Irish Pub.
I have to whole-heartedly disagree with his “ring” theory though in number 5. Either his information is bad, or Laz and I are Australian. Which, I guess is entirely possible. Laz likes to throw phones at people and I like fat girls with no teeth.
G’day… Lou.
Lazlo Scoops Rides Again: Halo Sells
After being the ass end of the joke when they sent out the script with high demands on Monday, it looks like those nihilists at CAA and Microsoft will have the last laugh. Lazlo’s spies tell me that Fox and Universal are working out a deal to buy Halo for $5 million; split costs. It is about half of what they were asking for on Monday, but it is more coin then our drunks asses will ever see. The movie should be in theaters by 2007.
Your loyal soldier,
Lazlo
The Lazlo Ponders Life’s Most Important Questions Series Presents: Stopping Short Of Drunkiness
Take me out to the bar stool
Take me out to the pub
By me a pint of P B R… You get the idea
If you ever head to Dodger Stadium to watch a game or a stabbing or such, you should give yourself a couple of hours and head to THE SHORT STOP on Sunset Blvd. before the game. It is a bar that used to be a cop bar (boooo) and is now a bar for East Hollywood Tattooed Hipsters (yeahhh). Old Laz had mixed feelings about the place when I walked in. But then I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my bloodshot eyes upon. Then the tatted up hottie pouring beers moved to the side and I saw an even more beautiful thing – $1 PINT DRAFTS. You don’t understand, finding $1 drafts in LA makes you feel like Indiana Jones without the hat and whip. I order up a round for my friends (5 bucks) and we nestled in for an afternoon of dinking dirt cheap and trucker hat trendy beer.
Fred Durst Link Of The Day
In our world, day without Fred Durst is a beautiful day used to its complete potential. But the Perennial Red-Capped Rocker™ and part-time cell phone porn star has blessed us today with his infinite wisdom.
He has found in his travels that drinking Pedialyte, the baby drink designed “for infants and children to quickly replace lost fluid,” helps him get rid of his punk ass hangovers.
He’s still a little bitch, but he may actually be on to something here. I’ll have to try some this weekend and report back to you… Lou.
Tommy Lee Link Of The Day
In our world, a day without Tommy Lee is a day wasted. In today’s adventure, the wanded one doesn’t let us down again, as he slides through a X-Ray machine at Heathrow Airport in London as whoever is holding the camera says, “you look a little hungover in the x-ray.” No shit. Tommy never looks not hungover. That’s why we love him.
You have to download the video and unzip it, but it’s worth it…
Click here for the radiated goodness.
