spotdogreviews.jpgHey all, spotdog here with this week’s Pre-View Reviews…
Cinderella Man – Finally, a boxing movie that won’t end up being about kids in China. (Get it? Youth in.. Aw, forget it). I think this is the sequel to Seabiscuit, except the horse is now reincarnated into the body of Russell Crowe who has to get beaten up all day and then come home to the eternally puckered face of Renee Zellwegeronivich (sp?). Talk about the Depression. This masochistic tale is brought to you by Opie, so you know there will be no cussing, screwing, or really anything of great interest. I say stay home and watch Rocky 4.
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5 Drinks to Enjoy
Lords of Dogtown – This is not, as I originally thought, the prequel to All Dogs Go To Heaven, and I’m pretty sure Dom Deluise isn’t in it, which sucks. Apparently, it’s a skateboading movie about the kids who figured out skateboarding didn’t have to be sucky, with handstands and other Beach Boys type crap. And it’s directed by that lady who made Thirteen, about young girls who get high, make out, and give head. So, you know I’m a fan of her work. I’ve been working on a documentary along the same lines for years.
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4 Drinks to Enjoy
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants – There was a time when a “sisterhood” like this with “magic pants” would have been burned at the stake. Ah, the good ole days. This movie is obviously a fantasy as these pants seem to fit on all of these girls, even though I’m pretty sure one of them, how do I say this delicately, has an enormous ass. I don’t throw out the 10 drink rating haphazardly, but I’m pretty sure if you were to see this movie sober, or conscious for that matter, people would end up dead. And you’d end up gay.
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10 Drinks to Enjoy