For those Sorry Drunk Regulars who somehow missed yesterday’s Cinco De Mayo Extravaganza, here’s a screenshot of the front page. We’ll be picking up confetti for weeks, and someone left a half bottle of tequila on my desk, so let me know if it’s yours. On second thought, scratch that, it’s almost lunch.
As far as the evening went, nothing too exciting to report. Hit a couple Mexican-themed bars, natch. (That was for you, Laz). You can’t go out on Cinco and go to a place that doesn’t have an “El” in the name. You know, chips, salsa, margaritas, chicas, beer pong (don’t ask), margaritas, more chicas, margaritas, blackout.. a normal Thursday night.
So, going through the cell phone this morning, I’m sad to say I wasn’t surprised to find a couple drunken pictures I took. Five actually, but three of them are of a girl’s ass that was standing next to me at the bar. Nothing says class more than sneaking camera phone pics of some girl’s butt. Sometimes I make myself so proud. Did I mention I love tequila. The other two are of Pink’s Hot Dogs as I stumbled home from the bar. You gotta love a place that constantly has a line at 2 in the morning, regardless of the day. For hot dogs. I love Hollywood.
Photos after the jump.
Archive for May 2005
Happy Seis De Mayo!!!
Morning Drunks.. Let’s give it up to waking up still drunk and not hungover, huh? Well, I’m sure to pass out in about an hour, so I just wanted to get this up quickly.
Our friends, J-Unit and B-Side over at TVgasm have once again displayed their snarky genius with what will enevitably become the legendary Pat O’Brien Leaving Rosie Voice Mails On The Bus With My Sister.
You’ll never find a funnier way to get in trouble at work. Turn that shit up, man.
¡Ay Dios Mio! Paris Crashes Into Heaven
Hola, all. spotdog here. While I’m sure after Cinco tonight I’ll be nursing a mean hangover all weekend and won’t have the fortitude to make it to any of these fine cinematic selections, I still offer up to you this week’s Pre-View Re-Views, you know, cuz i care…
Crash – Unfortunately, there will be no sex with scabby open wounds in this non-Cronenberg film, that is unless you count Sandra Bullock, but it’s independant, so you know Don Cheadle’s in it. But, it also has Matt Dillon and Ludacris in it, so there’s about a 63% of it being complete shit.
5 Drinks to Enjoy
House of Wax – Speaking of scabby open wounds, Paris Hilton, and her dilapidated vagina will, oddly enough, be in this apparent autobiography of Russell Simmons and the building of the DefJam empire. I might be wrong about the details. I haven’t been able to get past Elisha Cuthbert’s bounding bosom in the trailer. Now THAT’S hot.
7 Drinks to Enjoy
Kingdom of Heaven – Orlando Bloom didn’t get the memo about the One Ring, and continues his quest. Except this time, instead of Orcs, he’s slaughtering thousands of people who believe in a slightly different imaginary man in the sky than his Elves, oops, Christians do. The First Great Date Movie of the Summer! Grab a Muslim, a Jew, and what the heck, even a Republican and don’t forget the Jesus Juice.
4 Cans of Jesus Juice to Enjoy
The Perfect Margarita
In honor of 05/05/05, Cinco De Mayo, I now offer you the map to the holy grail…
The Perfect Margarita
Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!
Yeah, I know I’m a few hours early for the West Coasters, but I’m posting this from work, (Shhh), and there is still no internet at the New Crackhouse.
Ever since I had so much fun with the special 420 day, I didn’t really have a choice but to do something special today, did I? I mean, how many drinking holidays are there anyhow. Well, that’s a trick question, really. All of them. But you know what I meant.
So raise your drinks, kiss your Mexican cousins, and enjoy a couple stories from myself and Laz.
Hasta Mañana… Lou
Lazlo’s Top Ten Favorite Things About Mexico
Ah, our crazy step brothers to the south. Of all of the “People of the Sauce,” (Lazlo’s way of categorizing his favorite historically drinking races), I would have to say that the Mexican people are a close 2nd to my own half heritage, the Irish. And living in Los Angelexico, I can not help but love a culture so rich in drunkenness that the (WARNING: totally made up Lazlo fact) Aztec were the first people to have a word for sloshed. The people of Mexico have given us so much in the way a nebriation that I feel the need to honor them with an outwardly drunken dance……..ah maybe I will save that for when I get off of work. Until then I will honor the proud people of Mexico with:
LAZLO’S TOP TEN FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT MEXICO
Lou’s Classics: On The Road With Joey In Tijuana
It was Summer, 1996. Joey and I had traveled across the country – driving my ’91 Chevy Camaro – straight through from Florida to California – with a brief 13 or so hours in New Orleans of course. As my father always said when speaking of the French Quarter, “I spent a week there one night.” And that is a story for a different day.
19 years old, him and I, with my 20th looming on the horizon, we hit the road and bounced from city to city, state to state, for a month, never staying in one place for more than a couple days. Too many stories to remember, but today… Today I’m here to tell the story of our first time in Tijuana, Mexico.
Warning: Completely Unrelated Rant Ahead
Tuesday Night – 7:23pm
So there I was, riding with my new girlfriend Lindsay Lohan in the front of her Benz convertible cruising down PCH. Top down. Beautiful day. She looks stunning.. Hot little outfit.. No undies, natch. And then I think, When did we get together? I don’t remember hooking up with her. Something about this seems odd, but I’ve been known to wake up in strange situations before, and I’m not about to start asking questions now. But I know that this can’t last, so I’m gonna make my move, you know, while the gettins good. I mean, things really couldn’t be going much better right now. So I turn towards her and…
New Look, New Digs, Same Drunks
Morning, Sorry Drunks… I’m sure, even through your blurry Monday morning vision, you’ve noticed that the site looks a bit different. I have a tendency to get bored with things really quick and I thought that the SorryIGotDrunkUniverse could use a bit of an overhaul. I’m sure that this will be something I’ll be tinkering with for a bit and, as always, your suggestions are always encouraged. So, for God’s sake, do a shot and speak your mind. This site is nothing except mine and Laz’s drunken ramblings without you. I bet you can ramble drunkenly, too.
Lazlo and I spent the weekend relocating the SorryDrunk Offices/Brothel/Off Track Betting Parlour out of Hollywood and into a “Just Like New” 80′s-era refurbished crack house in what I like to call “North-West South Central Los Angeles.” This should allow us more opportunity for some quality stories given the location and not having to worry about all those pesky neighbors that just couldn’t handle the drunken shouting and head-bashing that would sometimes occur as we approached the bottom of yet another whiskey bottle. What can I say? We like to finish what we start.
That’s all for now… More later as I am in preparations for yet another SorryDrunk Holiday coming up this Thursday – 05/05/05. As always, Mahalo.. Louie
