I realize this is stretching the whole drunk thing, but I’m sure thousands of Italians will be hitting the vino a little harder today upon finding out that Pope John Paul George Ringo III has passed on.
That’s right, that old Polish guy with his own “Popemobile” has moved on to the great Vatican in the sky. And don’t worry, dear readers, should you wonder whether or not you can use condoms or use stem cells or stay up after 11 to watch Conan or get some fries with that shake, you can always ask me, the most pious of them all. The answer is yes. Except for the condom thing… can’t feel shit.
What a week for dead drunks – Mitch Hedburg (R.I.P), Terri Schiavo (I mean who drinks from a tube, really?), and now the P to the O-P-E.
Up With Dope, Down With Pope.
UPDATE: So now I’m learning that he is, in fact, still alive. No news whether this was a resurrection or just an April Fools stunt by those zany Romans. You know, the ones that are praying for the pope. PRAYING FOR THE POPE. Redundant isn’t a strong enough word. But regardless, the headline stays. He’ll kick the bucket soon enough and then I can get back to my drinking. Heresy, you say? Bah! Hennessey!