Archive for April, 2005
Heaven’s To Betsy! POB And Dr. P: Together At Last
Apr 29th
So it took all of 48 hours or so for it to happen. The PR campaign to return our beloved Pat O’Brien to the smarmy yet strangely captivating host we’ve grown to love is under way. That’s right, Dr. Phil will sit him down to talk about “the issues he faced while in treatment and the stories about his personal life that made headline news.”
No doubt we’ll get POB tears and maybe, just maybe, we’ll find out who the hell Besty is and why wasn’t she into it anymore? I mean, I heard the girl was fucking hot! So. Fucking. Hot.
Read the rest of the story at FOX News and of course at our boys Defamer.
Either They Don’t Know, Don’t Show, Or Don’t Care What’s Goin’ On In The ‘Wood
Apr 29th
Hey all. spotdog here. What an exciting time to be young and alive in Hollywood! This glorious weekend, we get a sequel no one asked for, with a new lead actor no one wanted and a book adaptation that probably shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Oh, Joy. On with the reviews…
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Supposedly the holy grail for geeks. A book they’ve been waiting decades for to be made into a movie. Too bad it’ll inevitably let them down and again Hollywood will rape one of their most cherished childhood memories. See, THIS is why I never learned how to read. And everyone knows I stopped cherishing things in the fall of 1987.
4 Drinks to Enjoy
XXX: State of the Union – Who thought that an actor as puffy as Ice Cube could be an action star? Apparently some coked out executive trying to reach that hot “urban” demographic. Never did I think I would be missing the acting chops of Vin Diesel. And, seriously, it’s not even any fun to make fun of Sam Jackson’s career choices anymore. All he needs to do is “Look Who’s Talking Again Now” and then it all would have come full circle.
8 Drinks to Enjoy
Sorry Drunks At The Cinema – Mallrats 10th Anniversary
Apr 28th
It was 6pm… We got to the theatre early, but not early enough. We were delayed on route when a motorcycle T-boned a car on Hollywood Blvd. The line was already around the block. Everyone wearing the same t-shirt. If it weren’t in the heart of Hollyweird, it may have gotten a few looks. We were all there to see Mallrats… 10th anniversary… with Kevin Smith and cast… shot for the DVD. Lazlo and I came prepared, as always, with a bottle of Jim Beam that had been equally distributed into individual 1 liter Coke bottles.
Took a bunch of pictures, but my camera sucks and most of them were blurry. The few good ones after the jump…
Drafts On Draft Day AKA Lazlo Tries To Kill A Keg While Watching The NFL Draft
Apr 27th
Hey, all you Sorry Drunks out there. Lazlo, barely here.
I guess the first question is why. The NFL draft takes place every Spring about 3 months after football season stopped giving me reasons to drink at 9AM every weekend (who says people in LA are flaky). The draft is perfect for us sports fans who like to talk bullshit because it is all speculative, and we all know how well speculation and drunks go together. So I will honor the Football Gods and Booze Gods – I will try and kill a pony keg of beer (5gallons) while watching the first 4 rounds of the draft. What can I say? I love DRAFTS (get it) of all kinds.
The 3 Rules are simple:
1. We must watch the entire Draft.
2. We must finish all the beer.
3. I must not call my ex girlfriend and ask her to get back together.
This Morning In Booze
Apr 27th
Pat O’Brien is back on the prowl, fresh out of rehab… Cosmonauts want their wodka in space… George Clooney is rampaging London with his drunken golfing buddies… Someone broke into Lindsay Lohan’s house, partied, stole a bunch of shit… and lastly but definitely not least – Alcohol Makes Your Brain Grow!
And with this weekend’s hangover just about gone, Lazlo should have his first Drunk Story from this weekend later today… Lou.
Maybe She Should Order Two More – You Know, Hedge Her Bets
Apr 26th
Just to let you know, that yes, I am still alive, here’s a quick link to our friends over at Defamer, who found this wonderful pic at Goldenfiddle. But this just again raises that age-old Hollywood question…
How many attempts will it take for Tara Reid to suckle one of the two margarita straws in front of her before her left implant bursts, possible killing half of the customers at El Torito?
My guess is 4. Any thoughts?
Quick Shot: Pamela Anderson Gets Drunk In London
Apr 22nd
I know, that’s not really news, but shit, it’s Friday and I wanted to post something.
“She didn’t want to call it a night until 4am and she was pretty much the last to leave the party.” Oh. My. God. 4am. I need a drink.
See no pictures and a really lame article right here.
Sometimes, even I am impressed in how I can sell a story. Have a great weekend…Lou
Sean Penn Isn’t Funny. No Really, I Mean It. He’s An Asshole.
Apr 22nd
Howdy Hollywood Honeys and Homies!
It’s your favorite Hollywood sell-out, spotdog, here with the first Hollywood Update! Some of you might remember me from my freelance reporting over at TVGasm serving up Hot Lesbian Action scoops on the OC and posing as a fan to get camera phone pics of Allegedly Gay Bachelors. But now I’ve found a permanent home here at SorryIGotDrunk.
Well, enough of the introductions, let’s get to the Pre-View Reviews for this weekend.
The Interpreter – From the director of “Tootsie” and “Out of Africa” comes this roaring comedy where Nicole Kidman attempts to insert the Aramaic words for “cooter” and “mutherfucker” into every conversation. Sean Penn’s best work since “Shanghai Surprise.”
5 Drinks To Enjoy
King’s Ransom – You see, it’s a cliche and it’s his name, get it? They kidnapped a guy named KING! And held him for RANSOM! Goddamn, that’s good comedy! You’ll laugh so hard you’ll think you were kidnapped, too!
7 Drinks To Enjoy
Kung Fu Hustle – Singing, Dancing, Flying Asian Gangsters? Quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever heard of. And I’ve listened to that Pat O’Brien tape, like, 50 times.
2 Tsingtaos to Enjoy
A Lot Like Love – The only reason to see this movie is to see if Amanda Peet shows her tits again, and since I read she doesn’t and Ashton Kutcher gets naked instead, I just slit my wrists.
10 Drinks and Possibly a Hooker to Enjoy
Breakdown of Ratings after the jump…
“Drinking” With “Celebrities” In “The Valley” On “Wednesday”
Apr 21st
Not sure if I used those quotes correctly. Moving on…
Firefly. The newest, hippest place for B and C Level celebrities to flock. So, now I’ve been twice, and each time ran into no less than 4 of them, just hanging out with us, the slightly lesser peasants of L.A.
So who knew that hanging out in a bar in “The Valley,” (and I mean that in the pure OC sense of the term), could yield such high superstar results?
4/21 – The Aftermath
Apr 21st
And here I am, 1 o’clock in the morning… it’s not 420 anymore and wouldn’t you know it… I’m drunk. (7 Stella Artois, 1 Guiness Draught – for those keeping track at home). Too drunk to even give a proper rundown of the events that transpired tonight. This, my dear Sorry Drunk readers will come in the morning. Or to be more realistic, tomorrow afternoon.
For now, I’m just leaving a screen grab of yesterday’s 4/20 front page for all my belated drunk associates around the globe who were too enibriated to see it yesterday. The rest of the story will come today… this I promise you. And I haven’t made a promise to you yet, so this is my chance to prove myself wrong… I’m not even sure that makes sense.
I have to go to sleep now.
Good Night Kids… Mahalo, Lou
You know the deal, click on the image for the full size.
