Louie here…
So, after an Easter weekend that can only be described as “eye-opening,” here I am back at work again. This website has quickly become the bane of my short web existence as each day I stare at the empty screen wondering what lame recollection I can summon to share with my reader(s).
See, I’ve come to realize that I’m much better at being sorry that I got drunk than I am at actually conveying those feelings to others. Love the irony, right?
So, until I can get my shit together and actually write a quality story, I’ve got a list of 17 things I learned this weekend…
1. Even if it is “All You Can Drink,” six guys sitting around in a bar in West Hollywood drinking mimosas, watching Meat Loaf videos, and taunting each other to “ride the bull” might be a little bit gay.
2. Good Friday can be great even if you’re not Christian as long as there is tequila involved.
3. Being a black assistant in Hollywood has definite fringe benefits.
4. Everyone has a doppelganger somewhere, and I only hope I’m lucky enough to meet and kill mine someday.
5. Hooking up with Ashton Kutcher’s assistant sounds a lot cooler than it actually would be.
6. Dolph Lundgren looks just like my roommate.
7. I do not have the balls to say, “I will break you,” to Dolph Lundgren.
8. The walk from your car at Red Rocks to Cabo Cantina is the perfect distance to sober up and realize that your friends weren’t kidding about the “girl” you were about to go home with.
9. The walk from Cabo Cantina back to Red Rocks is the perfect distance to wonder about those same friends who left you there with her in the first place.
10. I may very well end up the old crazy guy at the bar, club, family function, etc. and I’m perfectly okay with that.
11. My friend has sandals that have a bottle opener on the sole and I was not made aware of this!
12. Apparently, I have the ability to blackout in the bar and still sign out my credit card.
13. Apparently, I have the ability to blackout and ride home in the trunk of the car driven by a drunk person.
14. Coming out of a blackout playing poker at home is a lot better than finding out you’ve been going to town on your friend’s date’s toes for a half an hour.
15. Boo is not just a character in “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
16. Whippits are for 10 year olds.
17. At Radio Shack you have to be 18 years old to buy compressed air.
Of course, this all could’ve happened during one of my blackouts. What do I know?…I’m just sorry I got drunk.
